For your reading pleasure....
Kuttappan is an Indian.
Kuttappan was bragging to his Boss one day, "You know..... I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone important, and I’m sure I will know them."
Tired of his boasting, his Boss called his bluff, "OK, Kuttappan, how about Tom Cruise?" Kuttappan replies "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So Kuttappan and his Boss fly out to Hollywood and knock, on Tom Cruise's door and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts," Hey Kutz!! Great to see you! You and your friend must come in and join me for lunch!"
They have a blast of a time. Katie Holmes even personally packs 2 sets of Masala Dosas, which is of course specially made by their South Indian chef. They bid each other farewell. Although impressed, Kuttappan's Boss is still sceptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Kuttappan that he thinks Kuttappan's knowing Cruise was just lucky. Kuttappan says "No, no, you go ahead and just name anyone else." "President Bush!" his Boss quickly retorts. Kuttappan says "Yes, OK, but I am telling you I don't like him very much, he is very cunning, anyway let's fly out to Washington." And off they go.
At the White House, Bush spots Kuttappan on the tour and motions him and his Boss over, saying, "Kuttans! What a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting. The CIA just informed me Osama is heading for the Pakistan Border, Hey Kuttans, are you still on speaking terms with Osama, maybe you could confirm the information for me? Oh never mind! You and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up." Well, the Boss is much shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.
After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Kuttappan who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope!" his Boss replies. "Sure! This I like, I've been meaning to see him, he is not keeping too well you know" says Kuttappan. "And I have a lot of friends in Vatican; it's like my second home! And me and the Pope go back a long way, surely this will be a good trip"
So off they fly to Rome. Kuttappan and his Boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Kuttappan says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." The Boss shakes his head unbelievably and says "Yeah right!!"
Still so, Kuttappan disappears into the crowd, headed towards the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Kuttappan emerges with the Pope on the balcony, waves to the crowds with the Pope and takes leave. But by the time Kuttappan returns, he finds that his Boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his Boss’ side, Kuttappan asks him, "What happened?" His Boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, and "Who's that on the balcony with Kuttappan?
