Before Having Lunch...

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.. "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

Anda Buta Atau Dah Mati???...

Tahniah kepada Cucu Tok Wan dan -aa kerana baru saja mendapat hadiah Awal Muharran, sekali lagi hadiah Tahun 2011 bakal menyusul. Kesian kat depa yg baru saja mengeluh mengenai kesempitan hidup (macam nak minta sedekah la tuuu...)

Dok pulun jaga blog untuk memastikan Bini Rosmah kekal jadi PiiiiMampus sampai berhutang sana sini, last-last pemimpin depa kasi "hadiah" kenaikan harga barang 4+1 dlm 1. Yer la, satu lagi bakal naik, tarif letrik.

Ingin aku bertanyakan persoalan di atas samada rakyat 1Malaysia ni dah buta atau dah mampos? Kalau dah mampos, aku tak kisah sangat kerana apa yang berlaku, sedang dan akan berlaku telah pun dimaklumkan oleh-Nya.

Yang aku persoalkan adalah samada rakyat 1Malaysia ni BUTA (eja dan sebut betul-betul B.U.T.A). Ini kerana aku rasa rakyat 1Malaysia ni bukan saja buta malah dah tahap BUTA PERUT.

Bercakap pasal mati pulak, aku merasakan rakyat 1Malaysia ni dah mati otak kerana tidak mampu memikirkan dan membezakan di antara kenyataan dan penipuan.

Baru saja rakyat 1Malaysia disajikan dengan kenaikan harga barang 4 dlm 1 (PETROL, GAS, GULA & DIESEL) yg menyebabkan harga barangan lain turut mengalami kenaikan, timbul pulak kenyataan yg tarif elektrik akan dikaji semula.

Apakah maksud akan dikaji semula ("sekalipun bukan dalam masa terdekat"..... ayat nak sedapkan semua babi dan lembu).

Aku berpendapat sekiranya 1Malaysia masih menerima Bini Rosmah ni di Putrajaya dlm PRU-13, 1Malaysia akan mengalami kenaikan harga barang yang semestinya merupakan beban yg tak terpikul lagi dah dan negara akan menjadi huru-hara.

Ternyata, beban rakyat 1Malaysia bukannya kenaikan harga barang tetapi adalah Najib. Nak mengurang beban rakyat, kita kena penerajang um-NO-ngok dari terus memerintah 1Malaysia.

Kenapa harus kita menanggung beban pengurangan subsidi tak kala pada masa yang sama, kroni mereka di dalam IPP masih menerima subsidi yang bukan sedikit???

Pening Aku.... Meh Kita Relax Sekejab.... Part 2

Saudi couple, Ahmed and Layla, preparing for their wedding, meet with their Mullah for counseling.

The Mullah asks if they have any last questions before they leave. Ahmed asks, 'We realize it's tradition in Islam for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women. But, at our wedding reception, we'd like your permission to dance together.'

'Absolutely not,' says the Mullah. 'It's immoral. Men and women always dance separately.'

'So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?'

'No,' answered the Mullah, 'It's forbidden in Islam.'

'Well, okay,' says Ahmed, 'What about sex? Can we finally have sex?'

'Of course!' replies the Mullah, 'Allah Akbar! (GOD is great) Sex is OK within marriage, to have children!'

'What about different positions?' asks the man. 'Allah Akbar! Mafi Mushkila (no problem),' says the Mullah.

'Woman on top?' Ahmed asks. 'Sure,' says the Mullah. 'Allah Akbar. Go for it!

'Doggy style?' 'Sure! Allah Akbar!'

'On the kitchen table?' 'Yes, yes! Allah Akbar!'

'Can I do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket of honey and a porno video?'

'You may indeed.. Allah Akbar!'

'Can we do it standing up?' 'No, absolutely not!' says the Mullah.'

'Why not?' asks the man.

'Because that could lead to dancing!

Pening Aku.... Meh Kita Relax Sekejab....

Jabu walked into class every morning with a black eye .

After a while his teacher got worried and asked him about it.

Jabu's answer was: "Our house is very small miss. Me, my mother and my father, we sleep On the same bed. Every night my father asks, 'Jabu are you sleeping?' Then I say 'No' and then he slaps my face and gives me a Black eye."

So the teacher says to him, "Tonight when your father asks again, keep dead quiet and don't answer".

The following morning Jabu comes to school and his eye is fine, so the teacher breathes a sigh of relief.

But the day after that Jabu comes back with a severe black eye again.

"My goodness Jabu, why the black eye again?"

He tells her: "Mam, Dad asked me again, 'Jabu are you sleeping?... and I shut up and kept dead still. Then my father and my mother started moving{you know} at the same time Mom was breathing erratically, kicking her legs up frantically and squealing like a demented hyena on the bed"...

Then my father asks my mother: 'Are you coming?'

Then my mom says, 'Yes I'm coming, are you coming too?' and my dad answered 'Yes'.

They don't usually go anywhere without me so i said 'Wait for me...

Beban Rakyat Malaysia Yg Sebenarnya.....

Siapa kata harga minyak RON95 naik? Tak percaya lihat kenyataan Menteri berkenaan di bawah ni yg jelas mengatakan bahawa harga minyak berkenaan akan kekal tahun ini iaitu tahun 2010. Tak kan ler Menteri um-NO ni menipu kut. Masakan penerbit akhbar ni berani siarkan berita ni, kang kena saman juta-juta baru padan muka,

Malangnya kita semua kena tipu hidup-hidup. Yang paling malang sekali adalah para pencacai/penjilat parti meLAYU yg dok guna bahasa penjajah sebagai nama parti mereka um-NO. Sokong punya sokong, jilat punya jilat, last-last inilah balasan dari hasil sokongan & jilatan mereka. Haaaaa, padan muka hampa!!! Jangan kata minyak RON95, diesel, gas dan gula pun depa penaik jugak. Wakakakakakak!!!!.... Padan muka hampa, dok kena tarik hidung mcm lembu pun, masih dok jilat pemimpin hampa.

Setelah aku buat homework sikit berkenaan isu kenaikan harga ni, rupanya aku tersilap banyak. Aku bersetuju bahawa kenaikan tersebut tidak membebankan rakyat Malaysia kerana kenaikan adalah sedikit.

Tetapi yang membebankan rakyat Malaysia adalah tidak lain dan tidak bukan....

NAJIB & ROSMAH

dan

Kalau nak menghilangkan beban rakyat Malaysia, kita semua kena hilangkan mereka dari terus memegang kuasa. Lagi baik kalau kita hilangkan terus parti um-NO ni sama sebab semua pemimpin dia sama saja, bukan jaga rakyat tapi nak jaga diri sendiri....

Aku Cabar Semua Ahli um-NO Penang....

Kepada penjawat awam di Penang yang menjadi ahli parti meLAYU yang kecoh pasai bahasa kebangsaan tapi lupa yg nama parti hampa tu pun masih menggunakan bahasa penjajah, aku cabar hampa JANGAN TERIMA wang RM800/= yang diberikan oleh Kerajaan Penang. Kalau dah dimasukkan ke dalam akaun, sila serahkan kembali kerana wang tersebut dikhuatiri dari sumber yang HARAM. Tak kan nak bagi anak-anak makan benda haram.......

melainkan hampa ni memang dari keturunan

HARAM JADAH!!!.....

Masih Adakah Manusia Berotak Lembu???...

Tahniah kepada rakyat Malaysia!!!....

Tiada kata seindah bahasa yg dapat menggambarkan betapa BODOHnya dan LEMBUnya serta BABInya muka para pencacai & penjilat um-NO, sebuah parti melayu yg dari dulu, kini & selamanya hanya tahu menipu sahaja sekalipun tahu bebanan hidup semakin berat demi untuk menjaga para pemimpin mereka agar hidup lebih mewah.

1Malaysia..... Dlm apa-apa pun
RAKYAT YG KENA DULU

Siapa yg membuat bantahan akan dikenakan tindakan. Nampaknya, Malaysia ni akan menjadi sebuah negara komunis suatu hari nanti JIKA para pemimpin sedia ada yg berselindung di balik Ketuanan Melayu dibiarkan terus memPERKOSAkan kedaulatan dan kebajikan rakyatnya. So, tunggu apa lagi. Kalau anda seorang yang memikirkan masa depan anak-anak, berdoalah agar Allah S.W.T melaknat para pemimpin tersebut dengan selaknat-laknatnya. Anda juga boleh memastikan bahawa kerusi jawatan yg diduduki mereka dgn selesa sekarang ni diduduki oleh org lain pulak. Tak rugi kalau kita mengambil risiko sebegini kerana kalau yg baru pun 2 x 5 ajer, kita tukar semula lepas tu daripada kita membiarkan anak-anak menyumpah di kubur kita nanti kerana mendapat masa depan yang teruk.

Aku masih bersedih dan malas nak menaip panjang-panjang untuk menceritakan perasaan GERAM aku kerana letih memikirkan keBODOHAN rakyat Malaysia yg menerima kenaikan harga minyak, gula & gas dengan mengulangi alasan yg diberikan oleh pemimpin um-NO.

Memang kenaikan adalah sedikit tapi chain reaction dari kenaikan yg sedikit tersebut yang akan membebankan lagi rakyat Malaysia.

Seharusnya tindakan di bawah WAJIB dilakukan oleh semua rakyat Malaysia yang masih mempunyi otak manusia dan bukannya otak BABI....Mula-mula kita kencing ke atas muka depa, lepas tu kita kasi penerajang agar mereka menghormati kita sebagai manusia dan bukannya macam ahli mereka yg dah berjaya diLEMBUkan selain berkulitkan BABI

Laughter Is The Best Medicine...

Have you heard about the proposal between KIA of Korea and SUZUKI of Japan to set up a joint venture company in Singapore to build a hybrid car which will be named KIASU? ********* ** ********* ********* ********* ********* ******* Have you seen the Made-in-Malaysia car 'Kancil'? You know, that very little 600 cc car ??? Well, Dr M really wanted to sell it to the US, so when Dr M paid a visit to the White House after finishing formal discussions with George Bush, Dr M checks with Bush to find out if there is a way to sell the Kancil in the USA . After having looked at the brochure, Bush said, You know, I think this 'Kernchill' is too small for us Americans. Not one who gives up easily, Dr M persisted and finally Bush offered, 'Ok, take this number down. This guy is my good buddy and he's also the CEO of the biggest compact car distributor in North America '. Dr M was satisfied with the meeting and return to Malaysia . The next day he called the number and a lady answered, ‘TOYS R US ', Can I help you' *********** ********* ********* ********* ********* ******* There are three major races in Malaysia - Malay, Chinese and Indian The Malays have the political power and so they set! up the party UMNO, which literally means 'U Must Not Object'. The Chinese, on the other hand, controls most of the economy and they called their party MCA which means 'Money Conquers All'. Then there are the Indians who have no say in politics or economics. They set up their party called MIC. Hence, every parliamentary meeting the Indians would ask: 'Must I Come?'

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ******

One fine day, Prime Minister Goh Chok Tong visited India to meet their PM to negotiate trade terms.
During the lunch break the Prime Minister of India suggested taking PM Goh for a spin in his helicopter and view India’s city lifestyle.

As PM Goh was enjoying the bird's eye view from above, he noticed an overpopulated village with unhygienic living conditions. A man was even shitting in his backyard. PM Goh was fast to comment how unsightly it is and that India’s people are so uncivilised.

India’s PM was so humiliated and vowed to himself that he'll humiliate PM Goh when he gets to visit S'pore. When he really did visit S'pore the following month, PM Goh too offered him a ride in his helicopter to see the Singaporean lifestyle.

For a whole hour, India 's PM was trying hard to spot a fault. Finally he saw a place where people literally littered the streets, and as he had a closer look, he even noticed a man shitting on the grass verge. He quickly pointed out to PM Goh about it and said, ‘You said Singapore was nothing like India. How do you account for this?'

PM Goh looked closer, smiled and replied ‘Aaahhh.. We called that place - Little India '.

A Story For Our Kids...

Pencil: I'm sorry....
Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.
Pencil: I'm sorry cos you get hurt bcos of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.
Eraser: That's true. But I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone and you'll replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad. :)


I found this conversation between the pencil and the eraser very inspirational. Parents are like the eraser whereas their children are the pencil. They're always there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes. Sometimes along the way... they get hurt, and become smaller (older, and eventually pass on). Though their children will eventually find someone new (spouse), but parents are still happy with what they do for their children, and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying, or sad.

This posting is for all parents out there..... Share with your kids making them understand the role of us in having so-called "Anugerah Tuhan"...