Laughter Is The Best Medicine...

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this child)
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand....
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TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

Which One Is True, Profitable Or Bangkrupt???...

News on Felda applying loan from EPF amounting RM6 Billions has been circulating around and surely not in main stream medias. Mazlan Aliman has raised up several questions for us to think in which it is also in my mind too. (click here to read further).

I do not want to comment further as it is well noted the stupidity of Felda management & especially Ahmad Maslan to think that we people (except UMporNO members) are forgetful enough to remember what they were saying.

At the end of the day, the interest earned by EPF members is shrinking again with 1001 kind of stupid reasons.

Does UMporNO member has a ball???...

Mat Maslan, what are you talking round-about? How on earth Pakatan can give subsidize petrol sold in the their states only even though they have the said monies?

Only stupid UMporNO members can swallow your statement without a brain to think wisely.

Now, I dare all of you to vote for Pakatan even for a term only. Then we can see whether they can reduce the price of petrol or not, reducing the sugar price or not and what not...

Do they have a ball? I don't think so.... Because the beauty of being a member of UMporNO is that you can get cheaper prices of those items if and only if you show your membership card to the shop. Wakakakakak!!!!!!................

KUALA LUMPUR: Pakatan Rakyat has been asked to reduce the price of fuel and other essential goods sold in the states under its administration if it feels that the price decided by the Federal Government is too high, said Umno information chief Datuk Ahmad Maslan.

Ahmad said that instead of constantly criticising the Government over the issue, the opposition should prove it was better by getting traders and petrol station operators in states under their control to sell the goods at a cheaper price.

“Why doesn’t Pakatan fork out money to further subsidise petrol sold in Penang, Selangor, Kelantan and Kedah to lessen the rakyat’s burden?

“Why don’t they also subsidise sugar so that it can be sold at RM1 per kilo instead of RM2.30.

“If they find this impossible to do, then they should stop mocking Barisan Nasional as Barang Naik (BN),” he said.

Ahmad who is Deputy Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department said the government was expected to spend up to RM20bil in subsidy this year, double the RM10bil last year.

He also said that press secretaries and the communication teams at the respective ministries should ensure that issues raised were tackled speedily and effectively so that people would understand the government’s position better.

source...

Baca!!! Aku Tak Nak Ulas Lebih-Lebih...

Kenaikan RON95, tidak waras sama sekali



Tiada kewarasan bagi Kerajaan Malaysia menaikkan harga petrol RON95 dan lain-lain bahan api berteraskan petroleum sehingga Kerajaan mampu menjelaskan dengan benar dan jujur beberapa isu di bawah,

1. Berapakah peningkatan pendapatan PETRONAS dan Kerajaan Malaysia sejak kenaikan harga petroleum dunia.

2. Berapa tong minyak mentah TAPIS Blend 44° yang dikeluarkan oleh PETRONAS sehari.

3. Berapa tong minyak mentah dan namakan jenis minyak mentah tersebut, yang diimport oleh PETRONAS untuk kegunaan tempatan.

4. Dimanakah dalam dokumen-dokumen rasmi Kerajaan Malaysia yang tercatat dengan jelas jumlah ringgit yang dibayar bagi membiayai subsidi petroleum.
Menurut data rasmi harga pasaran minyak mentah dunia, minyak mentah Malaysia, dikenali sebagai Tapis Blend 44°, berikut adalah harga minyak mentah tersebut di pasaran global:

(i) 8 April 2011 – USD127.94

(ii) 15 April 2011 – USD131.20

(iii) 22 April 2011 – USD129.19

(iv) 29 April 2011 – USD132.26

(v) 6 Mei 2011 – USD130.74

(vi) 13 Mei 2011 – USD120.47

Sepanjang tempoh kenaikan harga minyak global ini, Malaysia, Tapis Blend 44° adalah minyak mentah tertinggi harganya di dunia.Berikut adalah harga minyak mentah di pasaran dunia mengikut negara-negara pengeluar di Timur Tengah pada 13 Mei 2011.

(i) Abu Dhabi, Murhan 39° – USD111.27

(ii) Dubai, Fateh 32° – USD106.74

(iii) Iran, Heavy 30° – USD105.87

(iv) Iran, Light 34° – USD109.86

(v) Iran, Kirkuk 36° – USD110.69

(vi) Kuwait, Kuwait 31° – USD105.77

(vii) Qatar, Dukhan 40° – USD109.92

(viii) Saudi Arabia, Arabian Heavy 27° – USD103.59

(ix) Saudi Arabia, Arabian Light 34° – USD108.84

(x) Saudi Arabia, Arabian Arabian Medium 31° – USD108.84

(xi) Oman, Oman Blend 34° – USD107.29

Pada pertengahan 2008, saya dan YB Dato’ Haji Husam bin Musa pernah menerbitkan sebuah buku bagi menjelaskan mengapa harga bahan bakar di Malaysia tidak perlu dinaikan. Saya juga ada menulis dan menyertakan data-data di blog ini bagi menyedarkan masyarakat mengapa Kerajaan Malaysia sebenarnya tidak terjejas dari segi kewangan disebabkan peningkatan harga minyak global.

Secara umumnya, rejim petroleum Malaysia digerakkan dengan menjual minyak mentah berkualiti tinggi tempatan dan membeli minyak mentah berkualiti lebih rendah untuk kegunaan tempatan.

Saya bersetuju bahawa subsidi adalah tidak elok untuk ekonomi pada jangka panjang. Saya bersetuju bahawa tabiat memberi subsidi secara berpanjangan adalah tabiat yang tidak sihat. Tetapi adakah benar Kerajaan Malaysia menanggung subsidi bahan bakar? Jika benar, dimanakah dalam dokumen rasmi Kerajaan Malaysia menunjukkan jumlah tersebut. Atau ianya sebenarnya adalah kos lepas (opportunity lost).

Kerajaan Malaysia perlu dengan jelas, menerusi PETRONAS atau mana-mana agensinya mengeluarkan data jumlah tong minyak mentah yang diimport negara untuk kegunaan tempatan setiap hari dan jumlah tong minyak mentah tempatan yang dieksport keluar negara setiap hari. Mengapa harus rasa tergugat di dalam mengeluarkan data tersebut. Bagilah rakyat Malaysia lihat dengan mata mereka sendiri dan biarkan otak kami mencongak apakah kos mengimport minyak mentah untuk kegunaan tempatan dicampur dengan kos penapisannya tidak lagi tertanggung oleh wang yang diperolehi daripada menjual minyak mentah tempatan ke luar negara.

Kesan Kenaikan RON95

Sehingga maklumat dan data-data ini menjadi tatapan umum, wajib bagi kita mengandaikan bahawa tujuan Kerajaan mengkaji semula subsidi pada RON95 antara lain bertujuan untuk membuat Kerajaan memperolehi lebih faedah daripada keuntungan PETRONAS kesan daripada kenaikan harga minyak global.

Alasan kerajaan pula seandainya kerajaan dapat berjimat, maka wang hasil potongan subsidi RON95 itu akan dapat digunakan untuk faedah rakyat. Maaf, saya tidak dapat bersetuju sama sekali.

Sebab-sebabnya adalah seperti berikut,

1. Andaikan RM30 billion adalah jumlah yang diperolehi kerajaan hasil ‘berjimat’ dengan mengurangkan subsidi, berapakah yang akan dinikmati semula oleh rakyat.

2. RM30 billion yang digunakan untuk subsidi adalah lebih besar faedahnya daripada RM30 billion yang dilaburkan untuk projek-projek pembangunan untuk kebaikan rakyat. Ini kerana RM30 billion sudsidi RON95 akan dinikmati oleh semua rakyat samada mereka memiliki kenderaan atau tidak.

3. Tetapi RM30 billion yang digunakan untuk menyiapkan projek untuk rakyat, mungkin menghasilkan projek yang bernilai RM10 billion sahaja, kerana RM20 billion lagi terpaksa dihabiskan untuk perkhidmatan perunding dan kajian serta hangus sebagai kos keuntungan satu dua syarikat.

4. Kesan menjimatkan RM30 billion dari subsidi RON95 sudah pasti akan menyebabkan kenaikan harga semua jenis barangan keperluan. Kerajaan tidak perlu menipu dengan cuba menyakinkan rakyat bahawa mereka berupaya mengawal kenaikan harga barang. Itu alasan lapuk zaman Abdullah Ahmad Badawi dan Shahrir Samad.

5. Kesan paling menyedihkan ialah, akibat penjimatan subsidi RON95 akan menindas mereka yang sebenarnya tidak memiliki kenderaan sendiri dan orang-orang miskin akibat daripada kenaikan kos kehidupan kesan dari ‘penjimatan’ kerajaan.

Keputusan untuk berjimat tidak boleh dibuat di dalam makmal berhawa dingin dengan punggung berlapikan kerusi empuk. Tidakkah cukup kerajaan Barisan Nasional yang lampau sewaktu pemerintahan Abdullah Ahmad Badawi menyeksa golongan rakyat yang miskin dengan idea-idea yang bercambah dalam pejabat yang nyaman?

Kononya rakyat diberi pulangan daripada kenaikan harga bahan bakar menerusi pemberian rebat kepada pemilik kenderaan apabila memperbarui cukai jalan mereka. Siapa yang untung? Sudah tentu mereka yang memperolehi banyak kenderaan. Siapakah mereka yang memiliki banyak kenderaan? Apakah orang-orang miskin dikampung yang terpaksa terbeban akibat kenaikan kos barang keperluan itu memiliki banyak kenderaan?

Kesan beban kenaikan RON95 akan dirasai oleh semua rakyat Malaysia walaupun mereka yang tidak ke pam stesen untuk mengisi minyak. Ada yang mampu menanggungnya, ada yang terpaksa menanggungnya dan sudah pasti ramai juga yang tidak berupaya menanggungnya.

Apakah Barisan Nasional berupaya menanggungnya?

Kerajaan boleh berkempen supaya rakyat mengubah cara hidup mereka bagi berhadapan dengan rasionalisasi subsidi oleh kerajaan. Rakyat juga boleh berkempen untuk mengubah kerajaan bagi berhadapan dengan Pilihanraya Ke 13 kelak.

Maaf, saya merasakan pulangan yang diperolehi menerusi berjimat cara ini adalah sesuatu yang tidak waras buat masa ini.

Dipetik daripada blog kickdefella (Syed Adizi Aziz)-Klick di sini, Sinar Hairan

Fluency In English Is What Employer Look For...

I’M writing in because the The Star had recently highlighted the quality of English among graduates.

According to the reports, our younger generation is not as fluent in English as the generation before. This has resulted in Malaysians losing the global competitive edge.

Being involved in the recruitment and business transactions in Malaysia and globally, I can see that Malaysians are lagging behind our neighbours in English competency.

The younger generation of jobseekers must realise that verbal and written communication in English is the number one skill employers look for. A sceptical jobseeker may argue that subject matter expertise is what matters most.

Nevertheless, the ability to communicate is a key driver for any employee to advance his career. An employee who cannot express himself creates miscommunication and confusion. He may be unable to serve customers’ needs efficiently.

Also, surveys have shown that when an employee is not proficient in English, he is less confident of himself. Employers need people who not only know their work, but who can also communicate effectively at all levels, be it to colleagues or clients.

A loss in productivity is something companies today cannot afford. Therefore, they will be more selective when employing people. Often, this means the candidate who is not proficient in English is disadvantaged.

So if jobseekers do not want to lose out on opportunities, they need to improve their standard of English. This is what we must impress upon today’s jobseekers. If you look at JobMalaysia, most of jobseekers are Malay looking for a job in Gomen's sector, why? Because they are unable to compete in private sector, thanks to some political parties who are very concern about national language.

I believe by continuously highlighting the issues, as The Star is doing, the future generation will be aware of the reality of the situation. However, I have a feeling that the Malays will never awake on the importance of fluency in English, thanks to geng songkok tinggi.

Through a concerted effort by society, schools and the Government, Malaysia can rise to the challenge at hand.

Laughter Is The Best Medicine...

Mr. McA died in a fire and his body was so badly burned that the morgue needed someone to identify the body.

As he had no family, they called up his two best friends, Mr. Am-No and Mr. Per-kasa.

Mr. Am-No went in first and the mortician pulled back the sheet.

Mr. Am-No said, "Wah-lau-eh, he's very barbecued like cha siu. But if you would roll him over, I will tell you if he's my friend Mr. McA or not."

The mortician rolled the body over.

Mr. Am-No looked at his ass and said, "Heng-ah! No-lah, dat not Mr. McA."

The mortician was puzzled how he was so sure but he didn't say anything.

He went and got Mr. Per-kasa to check the body.

Mr. Per-kasa looked closely and said, "Aiyoyo, it is true he's burnt very bad, but I need you to roll him over and I can confirm if he's my friend, Mr. McA."

Again the mortician rolled the body over.

Mr. Per-kasa looked down at the ass and said, "Aiyoyo, oh no no, this is definitely not Mr. McA."

The mortician, unable to suppress his curiosity any longer, said, "Okay, you have to tell me now - how can you and Mr. Am-No tell for sure this is not Mr. McA?"

Mr. Per-kasa said, "Well, this Mr. McA, he had two assholes."

"What?!!" the mortician said in disbelief, "He had two assholes?!!"

"Oh yes, everyone in the neighborhood knows this. Every time the three of us go out, people always say,

"Here comes Mr. McA with the two assholes'."