Blackout News On BERSIH...

As reported by Channel 907...

Kuala Lumpur, 19 July. Dewan Bahasa dan Perkasa (DBP) today confirmed that the word ”BERSIH” will be banned and taken out from the Malay lexicology. The chairman of DBP, Tan Sri Faizal Suresh Abdullah announced the decision at a press conference held at DBP’s main campus at Jinjang, north of the city.

“We are only following the Government directive. They said BERSIH is illegal, so we also follow lah. We are part of the same government, you know. From today onwards, nobody can use the word bersih. Anyone caught doing otherwise can be fined RM 5,000 or jailed for two years or both”, stressed Tan Sri Faizal.

When quizzed by newsmen what alternative words the public could use instead of bersih, Tan Sri Faizal added “we are not stupid. We have already thought about the inconvenience this ban might cause to the public. So, we had a lab, chaired by none other than Datuk Idris Jala, which studied the problem closely. And we came up with a brilliant alternative”.

To a question by Channel 907 correspondent, Lattalilat Thamplom, Tan Sri Faizal said “since this problem was started by that freakin Indian woman, Ambiga, we have decided to replace the word bersih with ambiga. Very clever isn’t it”.

According to DBP "since this Indian woman started the problem, we are going to substitute bersih with her name. Clever isn't it ?"

DBP has released guidelines for this change of terminology that advises the public the right way of replacing bersih with ambiga. Extracts from the guidelines are appended below :

Contoh ayat menggunakan perkataan ambiga

Contoh 1

- Cara lama

-- Murid-murid perlu menjaga kebersihan bilik darjah masing-masing

=> Cara baru

==> Murid-murid perlu menjaga keambigaan bilik darjah masing-masing

Contoh 2

- Cara lama

-- Pantai itu sungguh bersih

=> Cara baru

==> Pantai itu sungguh ambiga

Contoh 3

- Cara lama

-- Kamar itu dibersihkan oleh orang gaji saya

=> Cara baru

==> Kamar itu diambigakan oleh orang gaji saya

Contoh 4

- Cara lama

-- Cuci bersih

=> Cara baru

==> Cuci ambiga

MNN has been reliably informed that many Local councils are now considering using the AMBIGA rating system for assessing cleanliness of restaurants. Instead of the conventional A, B and C or star ratings, restaurants may be rated 1Ambiga, 2Ambiga or 3Ambiga.

Channel 907 - your most reliable source of reliable news